unitled
by dezel
Summary: Alfred can't sleep, and goes for a walk.


_ha...haha whoopsies. how's everyone been? i don't use this site anymore, you can find me active on my tumblr, zelo-s, or on my a03, ludgerkresnik. anyways, here, have some somewhat angsty rusame._

The night is still, the world is quiet and the cold air nips at Alfred's skin. He's normally not an insomniac, and can sleep at odd times and through just about anything, yet, he can't sleep. There's something inside of him that's making it hard. He's not sure what, but it's there and nothing has calmed him. Maybe he should just accept it, go home and play games. He's sure some of his friends on the other side of the world are on and willing to play. That doesn't even sound all that interesting to him.

So he wanders around, walking around the neighborhood and tugs his jacket tighter. He has everything he wants, but there's nothing filling that void. A few months ago, he and his boyfriend, Ivan, had broken up after an argument. He doesn't even remember what it was about now, but he's sure it was something petty.

Maybe it's that. Maybe he misses Ivan, maybe he wants to be with Ivan again and feel his touch and see his smile and hear that cute accent of his. Maybe it's none of that. Alfred pulls out his phone, the light of the screen is almost blinding in contrast with the dark and dimly lit streets. He had texted Matthew a few hours ago, following Arthur and Francis, but none of them responded, so he's sure they're asleep. Maybe he could just show up at Matthew's, and crash on his couch. Being around someone _would_ be nice.

The snow glitters in the orange lights of the streetlamps, and Alfred is partly mesmerized by it. And above, the stars shine. He remembers a time where he and Ivan would go out with a telescope and just admire the stars. There was a time where both of them were close, even if they did rival each other in school. It crunches beneath his feet, and Alfred reaches down, scooping some in his fingers and it bites as it slowly turns to water. Maybe he should have worn gloves. He can practically hear Ivan tell him so.

Alfred swears he feels his phone vibrate, and yanks it out of his pocket with hope, but there's no new message. It dawns on him that he's walked further than intended, and he's in a different but familiar part of town. He debates turning around and running back, but his legs are too frozen. Yet, if he continues, there's a chance he'll run into someone familiar that he doesn't want to see. One of Ivan's friends, one of his acquaintances, _someone_ who knows Ivan. Tolys lives nearby, maybe he can crash there. But he doesn't want to go there.

With some resignation, Alfred heads towards a familiar building and punches in the code. He doesn't know why he's doing this, what the point of it is, but he's doing it anyways. He tracks snow on the carpet, leaving a few mud tracks as he goes up the few flight of stairs. And down the hall, to the left and through one door.

For once in his life, Alfred hesitates. He debates on knocking, and he considers running in the other direction. But his legs are frozen, and he finally feels tired. Ivan will certainly turn him away, he just knows it.

The knock seems like it echoes down the hallway, it sounds so loud. Alfred waits a moment, and then another second and then a minute.

 _He's not coming,_ Alfred thinks, wondering if he's feeling relieved or sad. So, Alfred turns away and starts walking.

"Alfred." A voice calls after him and Alfred freezes, and his heart pounds.

He turns around. Ivan doesn't look to happy. "Hey, dude."

"It's midnight, what do you want?" Ivan prompts.

Alfred doesn't know. He doesn't know what to say, and it's difficult to breathe. "Well uh-"

"I have a friend over," Ivan says, impatiently.

"I...I missed talking to you." Ivan stares at him, stunned. Alfred bites his lower lip, in contemplation. Ivan always makes him feel emotions he's never felt before. Nervousness is one of those emotions. "I missed _you_."

"It's late." Ivan says, quietly.

"Ivan-"

"You should have texted first."

"I honestly wasn't planning on coming out here," Alfred says. "I just um...wandered here." He licks his lips now, and runs a hand through his blond hair. He forgot to wash it, and it feels a little oily already. "I guess this is the part where I apologize. So, I'm sorry." Ivan gives no response. "For what I said. It was stupid, and I shouldn't have said it."

Ivan looks over his shoulder briefly, and steps aside. "Thank you for your apology, Alfred." He says. "Take off your shoes. You can stay here tonight."

Alfred gratefully steps inside.


End file.
